Untitled Blog Post

Long story short. Injured. The race done the damage and recovery post race has been attempt to run, fail, weights, attempt to run, fail, weights rinse and repeat.

Initially I came back from Torun fired up. Knee flared up in an annoying dull ache a week ago and I've been unable to run since.

Depression kicked in a few days ago. Seriously down about it all. Feels a bitter pill to swallow.

Pep talk today, the main issue is the lost fitness means that both Dulwich & Mid Cheshire are effectively now non starters.

Taking those out of the equation and I can actually start to feel the weight shift from my shoulders. It's pretty fucking far from ideal BUT I can at least start to visualise a come back rather than lay in a pit of self pity with a race clock countdown ticking.

Physio is booked for tomorrow so the hardest part is to wait that out. It should hopefully give me ideas about what and when at the very least. From Thursday onwards I'll need to adjust one way or the other.

So this is likely to be the longest ever blog post. I won't publish until I feel ready.

The plan looks like this

1 - get on top of muscle maintenance. Basic muscle groups that make me able to run. 2-3 x per week and no heavy lifting just maintenance and balance. These muscle groups need to take the load from running.

2 - diet - do not go on tilt. I actually want to restart at a lower weight than I previously raced at. No going crazy, it's hard but I need to control this more than ever.

3 - mobility & flexibility. This one should set me aside from previous attempts and along with the weight training set me on the right path from day 1. No crazy aches after 30 min jogging at 8s.

4 - go dark. Social blackout.

I am not surprised but there has been a lot more piss taking than concern after last weekend. Few gems but in all honesty my circle has narrowed some after this. I'm there to be shot at. Mentally I have been quite low and it's mainly down to the injury rather than the race. Bit of a self pity point right now but it is what it is. No point just posting up everything when I'm all sunshine and roses. I have bad days too.

Very frustrating position to find myself in but I've come out of tighter spots.

Feeling right now is that it's a quad strain (makes sense if that happened in the race) and once that subsides I'll be OK. No real big issue, more than a niggle but less than a tear.

Run protocol is 30 minutes easy on grass with no knee ache (same spot) I'll accept new aches as success and move on. 1 week off = 2 weeks back.

Wednesday. Off to Fizz tonight. Booked on with Simon from Hunts as I have worked with him successfully in the past and he's got quick booking. This morning quad def feels looser. I'd say from here 100% will be much better tomorrow after how it was yesterday when it was fairly sore. I'll run test tomorrow, fingers crossed as I think from there it's a shorter journey back. If it's no good the prognosis does not look great to be honest. Either way I'll be starting something tomorrow. Weight down to 10 st 3 this morning so I am in the right place there. Back has never felt looser so either gym work is paying off or not running helps that !

Better position mentally but I am still at the stage where I am full of hope.

Main issue I am having now is the utter boredom. Being an injured runner when the weather is shit is fucking boring !!

Physio went pretty well. Knee and quad seem absolutely fine. Hip flexibility all good. Keep trying and once the quad allows me I can get back into it. No need to stop running and nothing really spelling out any issues. Shouldn't really be a big issue so touch wood all good. I'll try again tomorrow and see how it goes.

Did highlight that weak core is most likely going to limit progress and could possibly be issue that started the chain of events leading to my failure last weekend.

So along with the leg maintenance I need to start building up core and pushing that for now. Each day I do strength I need to build core.

Thursday. Run test. Fail again. It's still aching after a couple of grass loops (14 mins or so). Not sure now, there's something but zero issue post run. From here, it's pretty much give up on anything time and just face facts it's a long lay off.

Not really facing reality with it all. I'll just hit the gym and do some work on stretching like trying to get to the splits again. 

That's it. This could be the end of everything. It's been a good couple of years with no injury. I've run some times. Not hit any big targets but gone close. I'm 49, my body is just telling me it's a no. Right now, not a lot of fight left in me. Gutting - doesn't come close but I gave it a go. Is there one more lap in me? I don't know. I know that I still want it but starting from zero is just too tough and loosing everything I put in just feels too hard to take. Would I ever give it one last chance and put absolutely everything in to it? Full on 100% effort to make it? Maybe, easy to say that from here. Would be nice to come back and fuck everyone over but right now I just feel so despondent about the whole situation.