Bedford Priory Middle Distance Triathlon
My debut, popped my triathlon cherry, joined the 3's up club, got down and dirty, wetter than an otters pocket etc. etc. I've only gone and bloody done a triathlon. Finally Daz does Tri, 2 years after creating a blog.
So, endulge me a a little...
Woke up slightly before the milkman at 4.30. Quick shower and a huge breakfast (and 2 huge dumps) before Mr Turner (yes, THE Mr Turner) picked me up and loaded an entire sports shop into his car. Fuck you need some stuff for this triathlon lark. Didn't have a box which apparently makes me a proper knob in triathlon as all triathletes have boxes for transition.
Hit the car park, registered and dumped all our stuff into transition. Basically copied everything Mr T did in laying my kit out. Except my 'area' looked like I'd just taken the kids to the beach.
Queued for the toilet for AGES before someone realised 2 of the 6 (WTF???) portaloos were locked and undone them with a key. Ahem, probably one of the little things to nail eh chaps! Back to transition, some more pretending to know what I do and just randomly saying the words brick, Strava and dude to fit in. Wetty on pretty easily. All.on.my.own. Listen to the race briefing. Catch the swim as Mr Turner runs over the bridge late as usual. Up at 4am he was still late for a 7 o'clock start 30 mins from his bed FFS ! Have to help him into his wetsuit as he chats away through the briefing which lets face it I could probably do with knowing! Cheers dude or is it (p)brick!
Off to the water, fucking long walk over stones - thanks for that - and into a freezing cold lake. Sod this. Big piss in my wetsuit as Chrissy W advises us all to do. Lucky I didn't need a shit as I would probably have unloaded if it would warm me up a bit. Get used to the water fairly quick which basically means going completely numb and not being able to feel any part of my body.
Bang or boom or whatever and we are off. Hmm, no bish or washing machine it's fairly sedate to be fair. Strange thing swimming in a lake as it's a bit like a horror film where you see someone drowning. You see nothing but green murky shit water then a flash of land and sunlight before more murky green shit water. Swim for ages before I see the first buoy. Aim for it in the drowny-dream way I've been swimming. Realise I've never swam around something, nice surprise I can swim around things. Next buoy, then another and so on. Not much to say about swimming really. Lots of swim caps and green shit water. Eventually wash up to shore and roll about like free Willy for a few minutes before I get to my feet. Sprint along the path before overtaking into transition does look a bit twatty.
37 mins on my watch, 39.50 official. Nice, swim was about 2k and run to transition was over 2 mins.
Transition. Well, went as expected really. Shit. Fell over and got talcum powder everywhere. Loaded up with carb drink and kept thinking I've forgotten something like house keys or phone or something when I leave the house. Crept out onto the bike course after a lightning fast 4 mins #ouch
On to the bike, felt shit at first then felt a bit better. First 10 mile loop done at 20 mph avge. Hit traffic lights - nice, thanks for that. Off again chasing a few 'dudes'. Go along alright but sunnys are pissing me off so make the expensive decision to ditch them. Feel better now if not a little poorer.
See Mr T in second giving me the Cambourne express™ choo choo that Ed loved so much. He's fucking murdering the bike course after leaving transition just before me. Takes ages to hit the first turnaround point but catch a few people by now and into the bike. Half way creeps up at 21 mph avge then start to feel uncomfortable. Aero position might as well be a downward facing dog the way it's hurting. See Mr T and we repeat this with him getting further ahead, me over taking a few 'dudes' and my position feeling more uncomfortable. Wait 3 weeks for an old biddy at the Henlow roundabout, get caught at another set of lights - great, thanks, then back into transition after a 21mph avge 2.41:59 bike (was a mile long, more thanks). See Mrs P and the kids, lump in the throat, proud moment seeing daddy covered in salt and talcum powder. Lightning transition, 1:59 I'm nailling this shit, and on to the run course. Check Garmin after 400m and it's reading 8:33/mm. Fuck. Check Garmin after 800m and it's reading 6:24/mm. Double fuck. Which one do I believe? We'll it feels 8:33 pace that's for sure. Amazingly the latter is true and after 4 miles at about 6:30 average I decide to ease off to 7's and cruise in. Happy days. Run flys by and I overtake lots of 'dudes' like Pacman munching white dots.
Rock up in 4:57.xx which is a bit off what I'd hoped but run was bang on, swim was shit and long with a run to transition almost as far as the run course itself and an uncomfortable bike. Mr T smashed the granny out of it, won even after loosing 8 minutes on swim and 8 mins on run to 2nd placer.
12th overall. 3rd in age group (this is a big thing to triathletes like me now!). 41st on swim, 20th on bike and 6th on run. Learning curve complete, will nail the Outlaw as a proper race now.
Big thanks to Mr T for picking me up, showing me the ropes then bending me over and shoving it all up my arse on the bike course ;) Biggest thanks of all though to my beautiful family for traipsing around for hours on end just to support daddy so can do his selfish sport. Thanks babes, owe you guys so much xxx
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